Complete and Utter Madness!
by Crowfeather's girl
Summary: Warrior's parody. First Parody, please no flames! What's wrong with Graystripe? Why is everycat singing? Why does Lionpaw have a Dart Gun?  And Watch as Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight mess with Ashfur.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own **__**anything **__**I have mentioned in this story, I also don't own Warriors because Feathertail would have never died and Jayfeather would be with Cinderheart.**_

"It's Friday Friday Friday Friday!" Graystripe sang as he trotted through camp, his ear buds in place.

"Great Starclan, what is that awful noise!" Firestar stuck his head out of his den. "Graystripe! What in Starclan's name are you doing? Singing Friday, by Rebbeca Black! That's just _gross."_

"It's Friday, Friday Friday Friday."

Squirrelflight flung a pillow at him, hitting him square in the face, feathers exploding in the clearing. "Knock it off!"

Graystripe pulled the earbud out of his ears, Feathers dotting his pelt. "What was that for?"

"That song sucks! That's what! Who the hell sings about a _bus stop?_" Dustpelt growled, looking up from his phone. Graystripe looked offended..

"OHHHHHH THATS MY SOONG BRO!" He put his ear buds back on. Firestar sighed; His friend was a lost soul.

"OMG LOOK!" Hollypaw shot out of the apprentinces den, holding a picture of Taylor Lautner. "Look, isn't he sexy!"

"OMG is that TAYLOR LAUTNER! OMG OMG OMG!" Graystripe screeched grabbing the picture from her.

Leafpool stood off to the side. "Oh lol lol lol lol lol." she typed back furiously. Her phone went up. "lol LMTO LOL." She txted back.

Firestar logged onto facebook and stopped dead. "What the hell?" It was a video of Blackstar. Firestar clicked it. The screen was blurry and wavy.

"What a dumbass." Littlecloud snickered as he filmed.

"I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie worl-hhrld. Life is Plastic its FANTASTIC! Come on Barbie lets go Barbie who-who oohhhhh yeaaah!" Blackstar did a little twirl as he sung.

Firestar looked down. _100 likes. _Firestar Lol'd.

_Blackstar's gonna be pissed_

He scrolled down again, looking at the top stories.

"OMG look, its Rowanclaw in Be-jewled sweat-pants!" This time Flametail had taken the picture, it was not a pretty sight.

"AHHHHHH MY EYES THEY BURN!" Ashfur exploded out of the Warriors den. Brambleclaw looked up from his laptop, amusment in his eyes.

"Whats wrong Ashy?"

"You know what you did! Sending my revealing pictures of Tigerstar!" Ashfur whimpered, pawing at his eyes. Squirrelflight fell on her back laughing. Hollypaw drooled over her picture with Graystripe still

"Ohhhh look at those eyes, so intense with love for Bella." Graystripe gushed as he stared at Taylor Lautner's eyes.

"I Know! And look at his Hair." Hollypaw whispered. They book stared at it, perfectly framed. A wet leaf hit the frame, squarley in the middle of his perfect face.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S SOILD!" Graystripe screamed.

Lionpaw hid behind the nursery, a Nerf dart gun in paw. "Target is locked." He aimed his gun at Graystripe and pulled the trigger. The dart hit him in the eye.

"AHHHHHHH. WHAT IN STARCLAN'S NAME IS THIS!" He fell to the ground.

"Attack!" Lionpaw jumped out from behind the nursery, shooting everybody with darts from his gun. Everybody scattered, yowling as the darts stuck to their fur. Cinderpaw glared at him, dressed in camo as she stepped into the clearing. "Let's do this Lionpaw." She pulled out a Nerf Machine gun and aimed it at him. They both leapt at each other, guns going off as they met in mid-air, smashing their heads together.

"OW! Damnnit!" Lionpaw yowled. Cinderpaw got up before he did, placing a paw on his chest and aiming her gun at his face, she pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Alrighty here's the next chapter! ^^ **_

_**I don't own anything mentioned in my story, sadly ^^**_

Firestar logged back onto Facebook again that day to see another video. It was Reedwhisker, singing to...Nightcloud? Say what now? Firestar clicked the link.

"Lalalalalalalalalala I love you! Lalalalalalalalalalala I love you, I do!" Reedwhisker sang. "Lalalalalalalalalala I love YOU! I DO!"

Firestar shivered.

. . .

"I AM LOST! I VAIN! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU! WITHOOOUUTT YOOOUUUUUU." Graystripe yowled, his earbuds in place again.

"OMG! I love that song!" Spiderleg trotted after him.

"WITHOUUTTTT YOOOOUUUUUU." They both yowled.

"Oh this is soooo going on Youtube." Sandstorm snickered as she video-taped it with her phone.

. . .

Firestar logged onto his e-mail and sent Blackstar an e-mail

_Hey Bro,_

_your a Barbie girl in a Barbie world? Lol, best video ever!_

_-Firestar_

Firestar logged off and looked at the video again, adding it to his favs.

. . .

"When I walk in the spot and this is what I see! ok! Everybody stopped and staring at me I got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it show it show it show it! I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Crowfeather yowled. Leafpool sat in her den watching the video as he sang the song.

"Ahhhh Girl look at that body! Ahhh Girl look at that body! Ahhhh Girl look at that body. I-I-I work out!" Crowfeather sang.

Leafpool added this video to her favs and flipped her phone open and started to txt furiously.

_LP: Hey Squirrelflight, have you seen this video of Crowfeather?_

_SF: YES! Lol LMTO_

_LP: I KNOW! LOL_

. . .

Firestar logged onto his Youtube account, looking at the videos other cats have sent him. There was one from Littlecloud. Firestar loved his videos,only because he filmed Blackstar's most private and embarressing moments. Firestar clicked on it.

Blackstar lay with Russetfur under the stars near the lake, licking her fur. "Hey Russy!"

Russetfur purred and looked back at him. "Yes Blacky?" She purred.

"I love it when you call me that." He purred, licking her between the ears. The screen trembled as Littlecloud tried to stop laughing. Blackstar looked up and into the camera.

"Damnit! Is that a Camera! Oh Fuck me! Littlecloud, you are so dead!" Littlecloud turned to run, the camera now focused on his paws as he pelted through the forest, Blackstar calling curses after him as he ran.

Firestar yowled with laughter as he watched that again. Oh Littlecloud, How have you not died yet?  
>. . .<p>

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S TIGERSTAR!" Ashfur ran from the Warriors' den, his bag of Jellybeans scattered beneath his paws. Hawkfrost followed him out of the den.

"Actually its Hawkfrost you-" His phone went off. Hawkfrost flipped it open.

"Hello?"

_"Hawky!"_

"Dad?"

_"Why aren't you home yet?" _

"Dad, I'll be-"

_"I'm calling your mother!"_

"Wait-"

_"I'm calling her Hawkfrost!" _

"Damnit." Hawkfrost groaned as he snapped his phone shut.

"Wooow. Dad's changed since the Darkforest, huh?" Brambleclaw gaped.

Hawkfrost shivered. "Yes, he wears a flowered apron and dusts all his snow globes now." Brambleclaw's eyes grew wide.

"He _dusts_ his SNOW GLOBES! He never does that!"

"I knooowwww." Hawkfrost gasped. His phone went off again. "Damnnit!" He flipped it open.

**"Hawky!" **Sasha screeched through the phone.

**"Tigerstar's telling me your breaking curfew!" **

"Mooommm! It's only 5:00 my curfew is 9:00!" Hawkfrost whined.

**"Get home now!" **Sasha growled.

"Moooommm-" Hawkfrost began, but Sasha growled something into the phone before he hung up. He started to tremble.

"I uh...gotta go Brambleclaw. I'll see you later." Then he disapeared.

"Poor mate." Brambeclaw murmured. "I'm so glad thats not me."

. . .

"Let's settle this, one on one." Lionpaw mewed. Cinderpaw narrowed her eyes through her shades.

"Let's do this."

Lionpaw smeared black stuff under his eyes and re-loaded his dart gun then settled behind the log in the training hollow.

"Attack!" Lionpaw jumped out behind the log, shooting darts at Cinderpaw. Cinderpaw pulled out a gun bigger then her machine gun and it was filled with...Jellybeans? She pulled the trigger and hundreds of Jellybeans flew at Lionpaw.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I seriously hope your enjoying this just as much as I am Lawlz ^^**_

_Shut up you peice of Foxdung! Oh, just wait until I get my paws on Littlecloud!_

_-Blackstar_

Firestar laughed again and signed onto the Youtube again. This time he got a video from Ashfoot.

"Oooohhh a Windclan video. This outta be good!" Firestar clicked the link. It was Onestar. Whitetail stood in front of him.

"I heard that your, settled down, and you, found a girl, and your marride noooowwww. I heard that your dreams came true." Whitetail sang, everybody stopping what they were doing to listen.

"This was the best dare I've ever done." Ashfoot laughed into the phone.

"Nice one mom." Crowfeather high-pawed her and turned back to Whitetail.

"NEVERMIND I'LL FIND, SOMEONE LIKE YOU! I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOOOOUUUU! DON'T FORGET ME I BEG I REMEMBER YOU SAID SOMETIMES IT LASTS IN LOVE BUT SOMETIMES IT HURTS INSTEAD!" Whitetail yowled at him. Onestar just looked at her, his face twisted in shock and confusion.

"What are you talking about, Whitetail? I love you!"

"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, i couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over!"

Onestar gaped at her, unable to say anything. "What the hell is going on here?" He looked at Ashfoot.

"Damnit Ashfoot! Why are you filming this!" The screen cut off.

Firestar faved it and signed into facebook.

He checked Littlecloud's status: _You can't find meh Blackstar lol!_

And then checked Blackstar's status: _You fox heart, I'll find you!_

Firestar laughed

. . .

"Come here Ashy!" Squirrelflight chased after him with a bottle of Whipped cream. "It'll make you tastey!"

Brambleclaw stared wide-eyed at his mate.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ashfur screamed as she covered him in frothy white Whipped cream. "Squirrelflight NOOOOOOOO!" Birds began to land on him, pecking at him. "OWWWWW!" He tried to get them off but they planted their talons into his back and began to peck at him.

Brambleclaw filmed it. "I love this. Keep going Squirrelflight!"

. . .

Lionpaw paced in the clearing. Jellybeans stuck to his pelt. Well, Cinderpaw was smarter then he thought! Cinderpaw crept through the trees above him, aiming her jellybean gun at him. She re-filled it with sour JellyBellies! She aimed at him and pulled the trigger.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey guys, LMTO means Laugh My Tail Off. Lol heres the next chapter to **__**"Complete and utter Madness!"**___

"Today I don't feel like doin anything! I just wanna lay in my bed, don't feel like picking up my phone so leave a message at the tone cuz today I don't feel like doin anything. NOTHING AT ALL!" Graystripe yowled.

"Nothing at all! Woh-oooo-ooo! Whoo-ooo-oooooo! Nothing at all!" Brackenfur yowled with him.

"Toms." Sorreltail rolled her eyes.

. . .

Firestar checked his facebook, noticing Mistyfoot's recent stories. He clicked on her mobile pictures that she had uploaded. She was spraying Reedwhisker with Shaving cream. Then she put feather's all over him. Then she was flicking Burs onto his pelt.

_That is true love between a Mother and Son._ Mistyfoot wrote under her pictures. Firestar laughed as he clicked on the next one. Reedwhisker had woken up.

. . .

"AHHHHHHH IT'S TIGERSTAR!" Ashfur came once again from the Warriors' den. Tigerstar stepped out of the shadows wearing a pink sunflower apron.

"Correct." He mewed. Brambleclaw stared at him in awe.

"Dad what-" Tigerstar's phone cut him off.

_"Hello?"_

**"Tiggy! Is that you, deary?"**

_"Mom?" _

**"Tiggy, are you home yet?" **Leopardfoot screeched into the phone.

_"Mom-"_

**"I can see you down there! Go home!"**

_"Mom!" _

**"Now!"**

"Damnit!" Tigerstar snapped his phone shut. "I better go before she calls dad."

Brambleclaw laughed looking away. "I got the whole thing on video, Facebook and Youtube, here I come!"

. . .

(IMing will _look like this.)_

Crowfeather: _Hey babe, movie tonight?_

Leafpool: _Yea, totaly!_

Crowfeather: _Pick you up at 7?_

Leafpool: _Sure, I'll be ready, just pick me up at the border._

Breezepaw: _Can I come? OHHHH can we TRANSFORMERS! PLZ!_

Crowfeather & Leafpool: _No!_

Breezepelt: _Fine! We can Marley and Me!_

Crowfeather: _No, your not coming! Now go do your chores!_

Breezepelt: _RAWR!_

_. . ._

Lionpaw paced by the lake. "Now she's attacking me from the _Trees! _What the hell!" sour jellybeans dotted his pelt. This was becoming to much for Lionpaw! She was winning every war they fought!

"I gotta say this is annoying the hell outta me!" Lionpaw mewed aloud. He turned his back to the Lake. Cinderpaw popped her head above the waterm, narrowing her eyes in victory. The the aimed and once again pulled the trigger.

_**Hey guys, sorry it's so short but I'm typing up the next chapter as you read this ^^**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here it is, the next chapter :)**_

Firestar logged back onto Youtube then next day, another video from Ashfoot was waiting for him.

"Oh this is rich!" Firestar clicked the link. It was obvious Ashfoot was filming again, Firestar could hear her snickering again. Crowfeather was with Nightcloud.

"Nightcloud...I-I love you." He mewed tersley.

"This is the second best dare I've ever made him do!" Ashfoot snickered again.

Hope flared in Nightcloud's eyes. "Really?" She purred.

"I-No, I don't. Mom! The deal's off!" He stomped out of camp.

"Damn, I thought he ment it!" Nightcloud mewed.

. . .

"Summer after Highschool when we first met, we'd make out in your Mustang to Radio-Head..." Graystripe closed his eyes as he sang, settling into his bean bag.

"WHO DID THIS!" Ashfur stormed out of the Warriors' den. "WHO DID THIS TO MY COLLECTERS ADDITION CAT DOLL!." He roared. Brambleclaw looked up, innocence flickered in his eyes. "Did what?" He asked innocently.

"You!" Ashfur growled. "You did this!" He held up a brown cat doll. It was dripping wet.

"Oh...Yeah." Brambleclaw was having trouble keeping his voice steady. "Squirrelflight wasn't here and I was in a kinda "Tom" heat so...Yeah and then I washed it in the Lake."

Ashfur dropped it quickly, a look of outrage on his face.

"You...You! My doll is _violated!_" Ashfur shivered and stomped back to the Warriors' den.

. . .

Littlecloud sat in a tree, waiting for Blackstar.

"You Fox-heart, come out!" Blackstar growled. "I'll rip your lips off!"

Littlecloud laughed as he turned his phone on and started to record before jumping down just as Blackstar walked under him. Blackstar looked up just in time.

"Oh Fuck."

. . .

Leafpool crept into the Warriors' den, her eyes on Ashfur. He twitched in his sleep and murmered something.

"I better record this." Leafpool whispered, getting out her Blackberry and hitting record. Ashfur twitched again and shifted his position.

"Oh Squirrelflght." He murmered. "Squirrelflight, Squirrelflight!" He uttered quietly. Leafpool filmed him for ten minutes before she finaly broke down.

"What the hell are you doin?" Ashfur groggily sat up.

"Sending this to Facebook, Youtube and Squirrelflight!"

Ashfur's eyes widened. "What exactly are you sending?

Leafpool sent it and let out a fit of giggles.

. . .

Firestar clicked on Spottedleaf's Facebook page.

_Being dead ROX!_ She posted. Firestar just shook his head and clicked on her pictures.

"Well, I never knew Spottedleaf had drinking buddies!" Spottedleaf sat in the a circle with Thunderstar, Oakheart of Riverclan, Bluestar, Goldenflower, Tallstar, Mudclaw and Silverstream. A bottle was in the center of the circle. It was pointed at Spottedleaf. The next picture was her and Thunderstar, kissing.

_That's some party..._

Bluestar spun the bottle next and it landed on Oakheart. They left the room.

That thought made Firestar shudder.

. . .

Lionpaw groomed the jellybean debris from his pelt. He was ready for all her Jellybean tricks. He was dressed in camo, his Jellybean gun slung over his shoulder as he crept through the undergrowth. He spotted a flash of Gray through the leaves. He crept foward silently, inching towards the leaves.

"Hello Lionpaw." Lionpaw looked up. Cinderpaw stood on to of the log right in front of his face. She aimed the barrel at his face.

"Any last words?"

"No." She pulled the trigger and out came...

"Skittles!" Lionpaw screeched.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh I got Nothing! I got Nothing! Oh I wanted words but I got-"

"Shut up, Graystripe! The Sox are playing!" Dustpelt's eyes never left the screen. He was decked out in a Red Sox baseball cap, jersey and slippers

. "Both teams are tied, Sox are up to bat, 2 outs two strikes, come on Sox you can beat the Yankees!" Dustpelt watched eagerly as the Pitcher threw ball. The batter swung and...The channel changed.

"What? What! NOOOOOOOOOOOO" Dustpelt screeched, tears streaming down his face.

"Who lives in a Pinnaple under the sea?" Rosekit screeched.

"SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS!" Graystripe exploded into the Nursery

"This. Can't. Be. Happening!" Dustpelt mewed as he banged his head on the ground repeatedly.

. . .

Firestar laughed at the video of Ashfur Leafpool had uploaded and checked Ashfur's status.

_Leafpool, you better watch out!_ He posted. Firestar lol'd and clicked on another video. It was on Ashfoot's profile.

"And I go out and I sit down at a table set for two and finaly I'm forced to face the truth. No matter what I say I'm, not over you. Not over yooouuu." Crowfeather sang to Leafpool. Feathertail materialized out of thin air.

"I thought you love me!" Her blue eyes sparkled with disbelief.

"Feathertail?" Crowfeather stopped singing.

"No, he loves me!" Leafpool stared ar Crowfeather.

"Well..." Crowfeather was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Crowfeather." Leafpool barked.

"I love both of you...Leafpool more though...Sorry Feathertail."

Feather glared at Leafpool.

"No worries, I have Hawky." Hawkfrost appeared next to her.

"See ya, loser." He sneered at them.

Crowfeather gaped at them as they disapeared.

"What was that?" Crowfeather choked.

"I don't know." Leafpool was in awe.

. . .

(Texting is Italisized.)

Littlecloud:_I see you Blackstar_

Blackstar: _O.o Creeper. Where the hell are you?_

Littlecloud: _Everywhere, and no where._

_. . ._

"OHHH YEAH!" Dustpelt screeched, throwing himself in the middle of the clearing.

"Sox's won. Heatherpaw owes me $200 bucks! OH YEAH!" Dustpelt began to dougie.

"Teach me how to dougie, teach me teach me how to dougie." He sang.

"OMG I am so uploading this." Ferncloud giggled as she taped her mate.

. . .

"Skittles! Why didn't I think of that!" Lionpaw growled to himself. He paced on the carpet of the abandoned two-leg nest.

"What the hell is she gonna do next?"

"Why don't you find out?" Lionpaw whipped around. Cinderpaw held something in her paws. Was it...a _grenade_. Lionpaw's tail shot straight up.

"Cinderpaw!" Lionpaw screeched in horror. Cinderpaw pulled the top off and threw it. It landed at Lionpaw's paws'. Then it exploded, Chocoalte flew everywhere, coating Lionpaw. It started to harden until Lionpaw couldn't move, only his muzzle stuck out.

"Damnit Cinderpaw!" In the corner, Cinderpaw was mewling with laughter. She stopped for a sec and Took pics.

"Say hello to the internet!" Cinderpaw mewled.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I'm running out of ideas, lol ^^**_

Firestar awoke to his computer screen flashing. It was a new video, just uploaded moments ago by Littlecloud. Firestar clicked on it.

Blackstar stood in front of Russetfur. "I love you like a love song baby! I-I love you like a love song baby!"

"Why does he do this crap?" Littlecloud snickered.

"I love you like a Love song Bay-be!" Blackstar sung loudly, dancing around Russetfur in his den. He swung his head around and licked Russetfur's cheek lovingly.

"I love you." He purred.

"I love you too, Blacky." Russetfur purred back. A purr rumbled deep in his throat, and he rested his head on her shoulder, his eyes traveling around the den until they stopped at the entrance. His eyes widened with anger and he bared his teeth.

"GOOD DAMNIT LITTLECLOUD!" Blackstar roared, making Russetfur jump. Blackstar leapt at Littlecloud, missing and smashing into the wall. Littlecloud laughed as he sped out of the den.

. . .

The full moon shone on the island as the gathering began. Blackstar stepped foward, his fur bristling.

"Has any cat seen-"

He was cut off by the sound of a phone going off, then another and another. Mistyfoot laughed over the phones.

"OMG! Leopardstar, I didn't know you liked Blackstar!" Leopardstar looked mortified, and shrunk back, away from Blackstar. Firestar stepped foward.

"OMG, Leopardstar, you do! That's cool!" Leopardstar pinned her ears back in embarresment.

"Who the hell told?" She hissed.

"Uhhhhh...Littlecloud. Lol He found your diary and he sent a read-aloud to everybody, here listen!" Mistyfoot unplugged her iphone and turned her volume up. Everybody grew quiet, listening to Littlecloud's voice.

_**Leopardstar's Diary entries**_

_Diary entry 1:"OMG at that last gathering, Blackstar looked at me the whole time! His amber eyes are so fierce, yet so beautiful! I wouldn't dare challenge him to anything! That kitty-pet Firestar better watch out, Blackstar would kill for his Clan, that's why he's so loyal."_

_Diary entry 2: I just sent my warriors to fight against Thunderclan with Windclan, I hope that Kitty-pet loses!_

_Diary Entry 3: Oh I just wish Blackstar would appear, so we could sip a smoothie from two straws together. I know, it sounds cliche but, I can dream._

_Diary Entry 4: Why must that wretched Russetfur capture all his love. It's not fair! I see how he looks at her, or how they walk back from the gathering together!"_

Littlecloud's voice echoed throughout the island, then stopped. Leopardstar let out a snarl. "Blackstar, if I catch him, can I kill him?"

"No, that's my job!" He growled.

. . .

"Damnit!" Ashfur smacked his laptop.

"What?" Brambleclaw looked up from his laptop.

"This damn game!"

"What game?"

"Online Backgammon! I can't fucking win!"

"Ashy, Ashy. It's ok. Not everybody is a winner like me. No need to get violent with your computer though."

"Fine, I'll just play Solitaire!"

(Ten minutes)

"Fuck you! Man I just wish there was a 'Fuck you' Button on this chat room!" Ashfur exclaimed.

"I thought you hated Backgammon?" Brambleclaw looked up. "Weren't you playing Solitaire?"

"No, Brambleclaw, I don't hate Backgammon, I hate the player playing me!"

"Oh."

"Hahaha, see theres no way they can win unless they get doubles and theres-WHAT! They got DOUBLES! Fuck you!" He clicked off the program.

Brambleclaw's whiskers twitched with amusment. "Hey buddy, how you doin?" Brambleclaw asked in a false voice.

"Don't screw me man, I hate that voice." Ashfur backed up, his fur bristling.

"I love you Ashfur." Brambleclaw said with the same high, false creepy voice.

"Damnit Brambleclaw STOPPIT!" Ashfur snatched up his laptop.

"I love yoooouuuuuuu." Brambleclaw mewed, his eyes wide.

"Brambleclaw, stop!" Ashfur screeched. Brambleclaw looked at him.

"Stop doing what?"

. . .

_Hey bro,_

_You mind if I borrow $100, I kinda need it to by this Hello Kitty clock I bought off of e-bay._

_-Onestar_

Firestar shrugged and wrote out the check. "Spiderleg!" He called.

"Yes, sir!" Spiderleg had been watching to many Army movies. He saluted him. "What would you like, SIR!"

"At ease, I need you to deilever this check to Onestar."

"SIR YES SIR!" Spiderleg shouted before taking the check and pelting out of camp. Firestar sighed and turned back to his computer.

. . .

"YESSSSSS! THE PATRIOTS BEAT THE BRONOCOS! OH YEAH! THATS ANOTHER $100 FROM HEATHERPAW!" Dustpelt danced around again.

_"And I set fire to the rain watch it pour as I touch your face!" _Graystripe sang. He typed on his computer. Then he jumped up.

"OMG! LOOK! I HAVE SO MANY FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER!" Graystripe's face shone with pride as he prodded the screen.

"Look I have 2 followers!"

"Oh Starclan, Graystripe, the only cats who follow you are Silverstream and Millie."

"I know! It's so many, it used to be just Silverstream!" Graystripe put his earbuds in and settled down, watching his favorite show; Dora.

_"Dora Dora Dora the explorer! DORA!" _

. . .

Lionpaw stood, unable to move. "What the hell is this?" He glared at Cinderpaw.

"Snickers choclate shell. I say, very effective." Cinderpaw mewed. "Now to add the the finishing touches." She pulled out a can of Whipped cream and started to spray his pelt with it.

"NO! STOP! NOOOOOOO." He yowled as she wrote 'PATRIOTS.' all over his pelt in bold letters.

"I"M A BRONCOS FAN! NOOOOOOOO." Lionpaw yowled.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Alrighty people, heres the next chapter to "**__**Complete and Utter Madness!" **__**And thank you for all those wonderful reviews. Jayvee1669, thnx for your review, now are your requests(Kinda sorta)**_  
>_<p>

"YES!" Onestar sent the check off through his P.O Box.

"Beautiful Hello Kitty clock, you'll soomn be mine!" Onestar giggled as he looked around his den. His Hello Kitty lamp was beside his Hello kitty nestside table. Hello Kitty posters were plastered all over the walls in his den. Onestar sighed with bliss as he looked around, closing his eyes.

. . .

"NOOOOOOOOOO! DORA DON'T GOOOOOOOOOOO" Graystripe moaned as the program ended. Graystripe started to sob in a corner. "Dora...Dora!" He whimpred. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ashfur sat in front of the warriors den, watching a Soap Opera.

"Tamera, you know you love him! Don't leave him!" Ashfur looked up, tears streaming down his face. "Tamera, Rosaline doesn't deserve him! NOOOOOOOO!"

_"Joey, they baby is yours."_

"I KNEW IT!" Ashfur screamed, jumping up. "Now you can't leave him!" Ashfur screeched at the screen.

. . .

"HIGGHHHHH YAAAWWW!" Thornclaw karate chopped Berrynose's spine.

"AHHHHHHH. What the hell man?" Berrynose jumped out of his nest. Thornclaw whipped out his special addition bunny nunchucks. Then stepped back, swinging his nunchucks in the air high above his head. "WAAAHAAHHHHHHHH YAWWWWW." Thornclaw swung at him and hit him in the tail, then jumped in the air, spinning and landing on his smacking him in the face.

"Uhhhhhhhhh." Berrynose moaned as he laid his head down again. Thornclaw kissed them. "I love you Ninja bunny nunchucks!"

. . .

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Rowanclaw screamed. "I beat my record on Guitar Hero 3!" He slammed his Guitar on the ground. "YES!" "Damnit Rowanclaw, now I have to buy you a new one! For the third time this month!" Tawnypelt screeched. "Do you think I'm made of MONEY!" "Uhhhhhhh...I don't know are you?" He started to tug at her pelt. "Of course not Mouse-brain!" Tawnypelt swatted him away. Then it got dark. "Is it going to rain?" Tawnypelt muttered as something fell beside her. "Jellybeans? OMG, JEALLYBEANS ARE TAKING OVER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Tigerheart burst out of the Warriors' den yowling. Jellybeans rained down, submerging the camp within a matter of seconds. Rowanclaw slipped on a crushed Jellybean, falling in a pile of Jellybeans. Tawnypelt turned around, half skidding, half running. "ROWANCLAW!" "DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, SAVE YOURSELF!" He shrieked. Tawnypelt flicked her tail. "Just stand up." Rowanclaw stood up, his paws disapearing in Jellybeans. "Oh." . . .

"YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO LA LA LA LA LA! YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO LA LA LA LA LA!" Graystripe held the Mic up to his muzzle. "AND IF YOU LISTEN I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH MY RADIO, HEAR THAT BRIGHT WHITE NOISE?" Longtail jumped on type of the Highrock. "YOU'LL BE THAT GIRL YOU'LL BE THAT GIRL YOU'LL BE-" Graystripe yowled "EVERYTHING YOU WANT SO LET ME GET UP THERE, I'M THE BADEST BABYIN THE ATMOSPHERE, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT AND WE CAN DO JUST WHAT YOU LIKE!" Whitewing jumped on Graystripe's shoulders. . . .

"Let me go!" Lionpaw screeched. "Never!" Cinderpaw hissed. The birds had pecked at his choclate shell. Cinderpaw pulled out a can of melted laffy taffy and started towards him. "Wait! Wait! Is that Strawberry? I'm allergic to Starwberry! I start to puff up, and I get a rash! NOOOOOOOOO." Lionpaw shriek as Cinderpaw sprayed him with the Starwberry laffy taffy.


	9. Chapter 9

Ok, now because I am feeling extremely guilty, I must update, sorry to keep ya waiting :D

I now present you with chapter 9!

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller!" Graystripe called from the high rock.

"I'm gonna kill you if don't knock it off!" Spiderleg growled, not looking up from his computer screen.

. . .

"NO! Bella, NOOOOOO!" Ashfur screamed, not looking up from his laptop screen, the Breaking Dawn part 1 DVD case beneath his paws. Tears streamed down his face.

Squirrelflight put her book down, revealing that it was a Percy Jackson book. "Why waste your time on that? Percy Jackson is where it's at!" she laughed.

Ashfur jumped up, his fur fluffing up in outrage. "Come at me bro!" he growled, his eyes glittering with anger. Squirrelflight crouched down, her fur bristling as they advanced at each other. They stood on their hind legs, paws flashing out as a slap fight broke out. Brambleclaw peeked out of the den, his amber eyes flashing with amusement as he held out his brand new iphone 4, video taping this.

"Keep going, this is gold! 20,000 views, here I come!" He laughed excitedly.

. . .

Firestar was cruising along Facebook. He clicked unto Blackstar's profile, looking for the newest post, via Littecloud.

"I am in ur territory, stalking yooouuuu." Littecloud posted.

"Where are you, you unholy demon from hell!" Blackstar posted.

Firestar mewed with laughter, but stopped as he looked at Littlecloud's most recent picture updates. He had a leather bound book in his mouth, clearly labeled "Firestar's Diary."

"Oh. My. Glob." Firestar's jaw dropped.

. . .

"AHHHHHH LOOKKKK, HE'SS BAACK!" Graystripe yowled as he ran in circles. A small black cat stepped out of the shadows, a white bunny in a leotard followed. The cat grinned evilly and slid out his claws.

"Good thing you remember me, Graystripe." His tone was cold with bitterness.

"He remembers me." Graystripe fainted on the stop, collapsing in a pile of fat, gray fur.

Firestar poked his head out of his den. "Heeeeyy, didn't I kill you like, a while ago?"

The cat nodded, his eyes glittering as the bunny leapt forward, latching itself to Firestar's face, screeching, it's red eyes glinting.

"Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh get it off get it off!" Firestar screeched. Sandstorm sat down, her tail curled around her paws as she watched her mate. "How…..what's the word? Amusing." Satisfied, she watched one more time before smacking the bunny off, revealing Firestar's face. It was bleeding from his right side.

"This is my bunny, ." The black cat announced.

"That's all well and good, but why did that BEAST attack me?" Firestar growled crossly.

"Oh dear brother, you've already forgotten about me, Scourge, your coldhearted big brother!" The black cat sneered. He opened his mouth again to say something but his phone went off. He opened his phone, checking his inbox.

"Crap, mom's pissed. Gotta go."

The bunny leapt on Firestar again, biting his nose before disappearing with Scourge.

"You know, just because you leave doesn't make it hurt less!" Firestar yowled.

. . .

Lionpaw's fur was covered in Strawberry laffy taffy. A huge rash has started on his nose.

"Cinderpaw!" He moaned "Please let me go!" He begged her. Cinderpaw looked up from her Magazine.

"Hmmmmm….Well looks like your getting an allergic reaction. "I think you may need some medicine though." She took out the medicine pen, stabbing him with it. It went straight through the chocolate shell, to his leg. Lionpaw yowled in pain.

"Now to clean you off." Cinderpaw held up a squirt gun, aiming it at his face.

"This may hurt just a little…."

. . .

Firestar watched in horror as Littlecloud appeared on the screen, Firestar's diary in paw. He sat down and opened the book, turning to the first page.

"Dear Diary, I miss Spottedleaf with all my heart, but alas she is dead and making out with the royal dead cats up there in the clouds. How I miss her markings, her amber eyes….."

Littlecloud went on an on, until Firestar heard mews of laughter coming from all over the camp.

"Crap."


	10. Author's Note

_**Ok, I know I haven't updated in a while. I have a life guys, you know? My last Track meet was tonight, now I have Softball, teachers who load the homework on me,and stuff to do. Sorry if I'm not always on writing everynight, it's just busy. Plus my muse has been low. I will be continuing the story tonight, promise. And people who are reviewing, I am not here to pleae YOU. Cloudstar, I can keep you waiting as long as I want. You want another comedy story, search it on Fanfiction if I haven't updated, but don't tell me not to keep you waiting. The next chapter should be up shortly, stay tuned ^^**_

_**-Crowy**_


	11. Chapter 10

_Complete and Utter Madness, chapter 10_

"Yeah! Beat that!" Rosekit squealed, shoving Toadkit into the nettle bush, sending his Nintendo flying.

"Owwww." He squealed, jumping up, tears streaming down his face. Jaypaw nosed his way out of the medicine cat den, sniffing his way over to them, his jay blue eyes staring blankly ahead of him.

"What happened?" He said, not facing them. He looked at the nearest shrub, sniffing at it.

"Your wounds aren't that bad, whoever you are." he said to the shrub.

"Uh, hello. I'm right here." Toadkit poked him. Jaypaw's fur bristled as he poked him. He turned to him, patting his nose and pelt hard. Toadkit jumped back.

"That hurts!" he whined.

"Don't be such a kit!"

"I am a kit!"

"Don't be more of kit then!"

Leafpool padded out of their den, sitting down and opening her phone, which never stopped ringing with text messages. She giggled, tapping onto the keyboard furiously as she laughed.

"Oh Crowfeather, you really are an idiot."

. . .

_**"Soooo, you seriously miss Spottedleaf? What did Sandstorm think of this?"**_

_**-Onestar**_

Firestar smacked his head against the floor, recalling the night Littlecloud had found his diary, reading it aloud for all to hear. He also got an e-mail from Blackstar.

_**"Seriously bro, this is happening right now? And you make fun of me! Well, while your in this state of embarressment, do you want some jellybeans?"**_

_**-Blacky**_

Jellybeans? What in the hell did Jellybeans have to do with anything? Oh yeahhhhh now he remembered, it was this thing Firestar planned with Littlecloud. He bought a jellybean blaster on E-bay and they set it up, piling countinious bags of jellybeans into the blaster, shooting them into Shadowclan territory. Firestar went online, buying a new diary, this time a lock and key on it.

. . .

"I found treasure!" Prudy shouted, waking Mousefur up. He dragged a bag behind unsteadily, his legs wobbling beneath him.

"Look!" He said, his eyes sparkling as he pulled out a hard, silver stick.

"What in Starclan's name is that?" Mousefur yawned, swatting at it.

"Treasure!" Purdy said, bouncing up and down.

"That's just two-leg junk!" Berrynose exclaimed, appearing from the shadows.

"I hate how you do that!" Mousefur said, jumping as he descended from the shadows. "How do you do that?"

"I have skills." Berrynose purred. "Look at this junk!" Berrynose poked the bag. "It reeks, where the hell did you find this?"

"In a big, metal square ?" Purdy looked up at Berrynose with big eyes.

Berrynose narrowed his eyes crossly, but then reopened them.

"Hey, it's your den, do whatever you want." He said smugly, his eyes twinkling as he disapeared.

. . .

"ANNNNDDD I SEEEETTTT FIIRREEEEE, TO THE RAINNNNN" Graystripe yowled.

Firestar stuck his head out of his den. "Graystripe, please, you've been singing for two days, your given me a migrain." He popped an Advil, noticing Graystripe wouldn't shut up. He grabbed a pillow, throwing it at him.

"Shut the fuck up!"

. . .

Ashfur was sitting at his computer, typing quickly. "Hey guys, look at what I found!" He exclaimed, beaming. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw padded over to him, sitting down on either side of him. The computer page was blue.

"What the hell is that?"

"Uhhh, let me read it!" Brambleclaw shouted. "Uhh...Dawn Of The Warriors, Warrior cat RPG. What the hell is that?" he scrunched up his nose

Ashfur jabbed his paw at the screen. "Look, they have a leader! Frost...Star." He read slowly. That's right, he was slow. His I.Q was like -120 so we everybody had to be patient.


	12. Another Authors Note

Hello you loyal readers! School is out today where I am at, so I shall be updating tonight! :DDDD yaaayyyyy Crowy is back ^^ ideas are needed, but I'm sure I can manage this chapter. I might even put up three or four to make up for the time lost! 


	13. Chapter 11

Here is the next chapter ^^ -  
>"Steady...Steady..." Sandstorm muttered, perched in a tree. Graystripe was still singing and everybody just about killed themselves. A pinecone was in her slingshot, which was drawn back, ready to smack him. She released the slingshot, the pinecone smacking him in the ass and sticking to his pelt. "What the hell!" Graystripe yowled. He shrugged, putting his ear plugs back in and began yowling away again.<p>"All cats old enough to cat their prey gather below the Highrock!" Firestar yowled loudly, strolling onto the rock. "We have three apprentinces-" iphones' beeped loudly and music played in the background.<p>

Firestar growled. "Can't you just shut those things up for 5 minutes!" Firestar yowled and everybody stopped.

"Ok, we have three apprentinces ready to become warriors. Hollypaw, Lionpaw and Cinderpaw please step foward to be named with names that will probrably make no sense whatsoever, but you totally fall in love with anyways.

"Lionpaw, you are now Lionblaze. Cinderpaw, you're Cinderheart and Hollypaw your Hollyleaf, now go away." Firestar said, ignoring the cats as they left. Jaypaw was sitting by the medicine cat den.  
>"Don't feel bad Jaypaw," Firestar meowed. "It's not your fault you're a weak helpless cat that nobody likes." Jaypaw looked at the sky, his blue eyes sightless. "Who said that?" he asked, looking around blankley. "Was it you?" He asked a shrub beside him.<br>Firestar sighed. "Poor soul." -  
>Crowfeather strolled thorugh Thunderclan camp, waiting. Leafpool came spriniting out of the Medicine cat den. "Daddy daddy daddy daddy!" She called.<p>

"What what what what?" Firestar said, poking his head out the den.

"Hi! Bye!" Leafpool said, Crowfeather giggling as they ran away. -  
>"Ferncloud, it's about to start!" Daisy yelled, sitting down at the T.V. She was batting the kits outside. "Get out!Get out!" she pushed Rosekit and Toadkit aside. "I've got the popcorn!" Ferncloud mewed, the popcorn on her back as she leapt into the nursery. The theme song for Pretty Little Liars started. "Did you really kick me out of the nursery during my Baseball game?" Dustpelt whined Ferncloud rolled her eyes. "No one cares about it, Dustpelt, now get out of here before I set the kits on you!" Dustpelt ran from the nursery screaming, right past Squirrelflight who was busy tormenting Ashfur.<p>

Ashfur's tail curled in horror. "NOOOOOOO! NOT MY LIMITED EDITION TWILIGHT BOX SET! NOOOO." Squirrelflight laughed, lighting his books on fire with her smiley face lighter. Ashfur fainted, falling into a large clump of grey fur. "Hey Ashy...Guess what?" Brambleclaw came over, leaning over him, his eyes glittering. "Guess what Ashy." He asked in a creepy voice. Ashfur scrambled to his feet. "What what what!" He screamed in horror.  
>"Slenderman is coming for you." Brambleclaw mewed, running away. ". He's hiding in the trees Ashy. And he wants your soul."<br>Ashfur looked around, seeing a shape in the trees. "He is here!" He murmured, fainting.  
>Squirrelfight snickered. "Come help me move him. I have a plan."<p>

Blackstar: 'I will find you Littlecloud, you unholy demon from the deepest bowles of hell!'  
>Littlecloud: 'Bring it on =D'<br>Firestar checked his profile, seeing those two things on his news feed. He still had no idea how Littlecloud was alive, seeing as all the clans were looking for him. Leopardstar was still in a rage about Littlecloud reading her diary aloud to the Gathering, but he had read Firestar's too. The one cat Littlecloud hadn't messed with yet is Onestar, and Firestar was pretty sure that was about to change really quickly. 


	14. Chapter 12

"Come back here you little fucker!" Blackstar yowled, following Littclecloud. They pouded through the forest. Littlecloud smiled evily, jumping over a hole Blackstar hadn't seen until he was already falling down it. He landed with a crash at the bottom. "Bwahahahahahaha." Littllecloud laughed as he watched Blackstar. "See you later. Oh and have fun with my creations. Firestar helped." Littlecloud's voice faded as he left, a laugh was etched into his mew. Blackstar looked around. Creations? Then he saw them. They crawled toward him. They were mutant gummy bears. Permanent smiles were cut into their faces and Blackstar could see in the dim light that they had been stiched together with different colors of gummy bears. The smiled, crawling toward him.  
>"Oh. My. God." . . .<p>Lionblaze was crouching behind the warriors den, water balloons set in a basket behind him. He was gonna get Cinderheart if it killed him. Knowing his odds, Lionblaze knew it was probrably kill him first, but no matter! He was ready. He lifted the back of the nursery with a paw, looking around. His vision went blue as so0mething was sparyed into his eyes.<br>"AAAHHHHH." He was covered in silly string. Cinderheart came around, holding the can in front of her. "Any last words?" she asked.  
>Lionblaze stared at her. "Yeah..." He said dumbly. "I think I love you." Cinderheart lowered her can, looking at him properly. "I think I love you too." she said.<br>"Wanna become mates, only to be broken up by my destiny later?" Lionblaze asked. Cinderpelt tipped her head to side, thinking for a moment before she joined him, twining his tail with his. "Sounds good to me."

"Muy caliente que veo! ah se me quem ! NOOOO Mi salsa se arruina, ves lo que has hecho!" Spiderleg mewed to Brackenfur angirly as he stirred salsa in a bowl.

"No es mi culpa que no tienen ning n talento en la cocina espa ola. Ahora no revuelva la salsa de esa manera o te va a arruinar!" Brackenfur retorted angirly, looking at the sorry heap that Spiderleg called salsa. They had been bickering in Spanish for weeks now, learning how to speak spanish together by watching this Spanish soap opera.

"Bueno, tal vez deber a hacer usted mismo la cena, adem s de su la que pidi ayuda para hacer un "especial" para su cena y Sorreltail!" Spiderleg yelled, waving his spoon around. Brackenfur's eyes widened and he turned back to the burrito he was making.

"Por lo menos tengo un compa ero ..." Brackenfur murmured. Spiderleg, raising his head as he processed what Brackenfur had said.

"T melo usted de nuevo el coraz n de Fox!" Spiderleg growled, throwing the salsa in the grass.

"Make me. Ven a m hermano." Brackenfur challenged. Spiderleg growled, leaping on Brackenfur's back and beating him with wooden spoon he still had in his paw. It was covered in salsa still.

""Tomar de nuevo!"" Spiderleg shouted.

" Nunca! Es la verdad y t lo sabes! Incluso Daisy no te quiero!" Brackenfur shouted, rolling away with Spiderleg, the both of them still yelling at each other in spanish. (I suggest google translate for those non-spanish.)  
>. . .<p>

"Et Firestar a t tel un bon copain, mais j'ai l'impression qu'il aime vraiment Spottedleaf plus que moi." Sandstorm spoke in french on her phone. She was talking to Ashfoot from Windclan.

(It's french)

"Je ne comprends lui tant soumis un stress, d' tre chef de clan et tout, mais vraiment? Spottedleaf vraiment mieux maintenant marche arri re becase je vraiment envie de la rencontrer en Starclan jour" Sandstorm rambled away in front of Firestar, who looked very confused.

"The fuck? I'm pretty sure that converstation is about me." He sighed, clicking onto Cleverbot.

Firestar: Do you know about the Chamber Of Secrets?  
>Cleverbot: Yes Firestar: Can you tell me?<br>Cleverbot: No, but I can show you.

"VOLDEMORT IS ALIVE AND HAS POSSESEDMY COMPUTER! SANDSTORM! HELPPPPP!" Firestar screamed, running from his den.  
>Sandstorm rolled her eyes, jabbering away in french.<br>. . .

Ashfur awoke, hanging upside down. He was tied by his ankles. "Hey, what the hell is this?" He yelled. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw strolled out of the shaddows of the cave they were in. "There is no escaping Ashfur, we are below the lake and no one will ever find you if you upset us and we just leave you here, so be wise." Squirrelflight said, her eyes narrowing evily. "What are you going to do to me?" Ashfur asked, his eyes widening. Squirrelflight laughed. "Your going watch Rebecca Black's music video "Friday" until your ears bleed." she laughed. Ashfur screamed in horror, sturggling against his ropes. Squirrelflight switched a lever, which dropped him. He was then placed in a chair just as a flatscreen popped out of the wall. "Where did you find this place?" Ashfur asked.  
>"Oh, this is where Brambleclaw and I come when we want to be alone." Squirrelflight, turning the music video.<br>The music blared and Rebecca Black's loud annoying voice echoed through the cave. Squirrelflight leaned back in a lounger, her ear buds in place as she sipped a Monster. "That's some good stuff." She mewed.

"Jaypaw?" Firestar decided to take a break and visit the young apprentince, see how he was doing, seeing as his mentor spent every waking moment with Crowfeather. Empty Rockstar cans littered the medicine cat den floor. Jaypaw was in his nest, hyperventalating and muttering something over and over again. "Well, I see that your alright, I'll just leave you to whatever your doing." . . .  
>When Firestar logged onto his e-mail account he saw an urgent message from Onestar.<p>

Onestar wrote: 'ITTTTSSSS GOOONE! :(((((( WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH IT!' Firestar replied with: 'What the hell are you talking about?'

Firestar's phone rang with his "One Direction" ringtone. "Hello?"

"You little shit!" Blackstar's voice growled over the line.

"What did I do?" Firestar asked innocently.=

"You and that demon spawn from hell made those fucking demons that attacked me in the trench." Blackstar snarled into the phone.

"Wait a minute, which demons are we talking about?" Firestar asked.,

"The fucking gummy bears!" Blackstar snarled.

"Oh, yeah, those demons. That's right, now I remember. Yeah, I made them, why?" Firestar asked, leaning back at his desk which was cluttered with papers, most of them bills.

"They fucking attacked me!"

"Oh, did you go into their lair?" Firestar asked, sifting through the bills and pay checks which were on his desk.

"I fell into the lair, so yeah I did, bit it was Littlecloud's fault!" Blackstar growled, getting annoyed.

"See, they don't like that. Don't go in the lair and you'll have some happy demons." Firestar said cheerfully, snapping his phone shut.

Now Firestar had seen what Onestar was talking about. Littlecloud stole his limited edition Hello Kitty doll with the diamond collar that talked to you. Littlecloud has hidden it deep in Riverclan territory, hung in a cave where, according to the twenty-four hour camera he sat up, he is frying pancakes right about now. The doll has been hung by the neck and the Diamond collar hung around Littlecloud's neck now.  
>Firestar knew Littlecloud was going to get it, unless Littlecloud got them first. <p>


	15. Chapter 13

An0other chappie of Complete and Utter

" Es esto realmente sucede? Est usted de fiar dos ser?" Sorreltail yelled, watching Spiderleg and Brackenfur break apart, both of them still cursing each other in Spanish.  
>"Spiderleg! Qu clase de ejemplo que se ajuste a sus hijos?" Daisy sighed dramaticly, fainting as they went at each other again.<p>

"Tomar de nuevo! Lo juro por Starclan que si no lo lleve de nuevo!" Spiderleg growled. Brackenfur looked into his eyes, his eyes glittering.

"Ah, s , ponerla en la cara de piel". Brackenfur snarled. Sorreltail just sighed, taking her ipod and putting her earbuds in. "Los gatos Tom."  
>"Can somebody please speak English?" Poppyfrost mewed, her eyes bulging.<p>

The moon shone, the stars twinkling around it.  
>"We have captured Littlecloud!" Onestar said, his fur fluffing out. He had his Hello Kitty doll at his paws. It seemed as no one was listening. Phones were beeping on and off and music blared.<p>

"Good, I want to kill him." Blackstar said, stepping foward. Littlecloud sat with the other medicine cats, who made no move to guard him.

"No, me first!" Leopardstar stepped foward. Firestar was the only that didn't step foward, as he didn't really care if he read the diary or not, maybe because seeing the other leaders in a rage made up for the fact that he read his diary.

Firestar looked over at Littlecloud, making a sweeping motion with his tail telling him to go. Leopardstar, Blackstar and Onestar were still arguing, paying no attention to Littlecloud or Firestar at all. Littlecloud winked, taking out a remote control. Firestar nodded, looking around.

Littlecloud ran off, pushing the button on the remote. A scream was heard as the Gummy Bears shoved their way through the shrubs. Firestar sat down, waving one over. "Hey, can you bring me a Monster? And some Oreos." He asked. The gummy bear nodded, running away.

"WHAT! WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GO!" Blackstar screeched, a gummy bear taking him by the tail and dragging him around.

"No! Save Kitty! Save KITTY!" Onestar yelled in desperation as a gummy bear took his Hello Kitty Doll.

Firestar sat in the tree with his Monster and Oreos. "What fucktard's. If they stopped moving, the Gummy Bears wouldn't go after them." The gathering had broken apart. All the clans went back to their camp without their leaders.

"Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!" Hazeltail chanted, bouncing as she walked. "I love coffee!" she said. "COFFEEEEE!" Hazeltail shouted, jumping on the trampoline and bouncing across the territory, landing in Windclan camp.

"What the hell bro?" Breezepelt spat, setting something aside. He turned the scremo music off of his ipod and licked at the blod on his wrists.  
>"Uhhh, Breezepelt." Hazeltail backed away. "Your weird." She said, running through Windclan camp as he chased her.<p>

"You emo!" Hazeltail yelled back, laughing at she crossed the border. . . .  
>"So, Ashfur, how do you like the song?" Squirrelflight mewed, her eyes narrowing.<p>

Blood dripped from Ashfur's ears and pooled on the ground beneath him. "I've heard that song ten thousand times. MAKE IT STOP! I beg of you!"

Squirrelflight smiled, narrowing her eyes in joy.  
>-<p>

(I'm sorry this chappie was so short. It was more of a filler then funny because I'm huilty about not updating for you guys. I just have a lot to think about, starting with the fact that the Zombie Apocalyspe has started in Florida, my state just four or five hours from where I live. I'm scared for my life, preparing myself for the worst and watching and reading lots of Zombie stuff, always ready to grab my Softball bats to kick some ass.)

Alright, Imma hold a little questionaire about me, just so you can guess =D everybody gets a plushie of Littlecloud if you guess correctly and a plsuhie of Firestar if you participate.

Which Disney movie is my favorite?  
>a.) Toy Story b.) The Hunchback of Notre Dame c.) The Little Mermaid. <p>


End file.
